Free chocolate? Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner

EDIT: damn, an editing/saving glitch, and I lost much of this post. Anyway, there was a political leaflet through my door today from the local Official Monster Facing Loony Party candidate who visited me last week, John Cartwright. It’s a funny leaflet.

John CARTWRIGHT

Official Monster Raving Loony Party

  • Protect Civil Liberties
  • No detention without trial
  • Stop Extraordinary Rendition
  • Repeal the oppressive and counter-productive “Anti-Terror” Laws
  • Stop Imperialist Aggression
  • Stop Interference in Somalia
  • Get out of Iraq and Afghanistan
  • Support the independence of North Korea and its right to self-defence
  • Welcome the Cultural and Economic Benefits of Immigration
  • Withdraw from the European Union
  • Free chocolate for pensioners, students and the unemployed

[on the reverse]

I am standing in this by-election so that the people of Ealing Southall constituency can have the opportunity to vote for the policies of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.

I have been a candidate in 13 local elections in Croydon, the last 2 general elections in Croydon Central, and the by-election last year in Bromley & Chislehurst. I am not local to Ealing, but this lack of local experience is outweighed by the brilliance of my policies and the charisma of my personality. Southall should have an MP who will maintain the struggle against the imperialist bourgeoisie, rather than a party careerist who will follow the dictates of his party’s leadership.

“The Official Monster Raving Loony Party wants to build a diverse, pluralist, and tolerant democratic society in which there is mutual respect for a wide variety of different cultures, lifestyles and viewpoints. Anybody who dares to suggest otherwise should be ruthlessly exterminated.”